Behind A Face We Show The World

So I went to America for two weeks, and it was really good fun. And I didn't update my blog.

SHAME.

But this is not a travel blog, and neither am I qualified enough to write one. Just one comment I would like to make in that respect.

Hollywood is an OVERPRICED, TACKY, SHIFTY TOURIST TRAP. Yeah. You still have to go there though if you're a tourist in LA. It's like how you have to go to Times Square if you're in New York. It was an experience though.

There. That's the one rant done with.

On that note (offend warning), I notice that there actually aren't that many fat people around the USA. Gasp. I've literally traversed the States, and the stereotype just doesn't hold. Like how not all religious aren't extremist. Or something like that.

I have been assured though, that this is simply because I have been visiting the urban areas, where everyone is rushing about and no one really has the time or the money to stuff their faces with. I supposed I should've dug just a little deeper; maybe if I traveled just a bit to the next town over, I might have found a whole new population altogether, which may reinforce or completely shatter the said stereotypes.

Which got me thinking, and that usually puts me in a bad spot, but oh well.

Certainly all countries must put up a front for the tourists, which may or may not reflect the values of the country itself. At least, hide the bad bits. You've got to make some money somehow right?

Only, isn't the whole point of travelling to get to know the country and enrich your knowledge or something like that? Like, will you be content with knowing half the country? Or are you afraid of your country being called a hypocrite? Because let's face it, all countries need monies, and all countries are equally as guilty in this facade.

Do you think we as travelers will feel cheated if we are just given a show of the best of the best?

TBH, probably not. We travel to, as it is aptly put, "get away". From the mundane everyday life that we lead, to search for something new. Something fresh. Something exciting. I am sure that often does not include living a day to day life in those countries, where it might be even worse than where them tourists came from. I mean, tourists could afford to fly to your country, so they must be able to afford a higher standard of living than that.

But really, it all depends on what you are looking for in a holiday. You want a five-star hotel with 3-starred Michelin restaurants everyday? You only have to look. You wanna backpack in a dodgy hostel or couch surf across the Americas, eating dodgy food from vendors which may or may not give you salmonella? You only have to look slightly harder. So it is not saying that a country will completely block off access to "non-touristy" areas. They are still there. It all depends on if you, as a tourist, wanna see them or not.

Unless of course you wanna visit North Korea. Then it is a different bottle of kimchi.

The final word, of course, is be friendly with the locals. After all, they are the ones knowing where the good eats, the best nasi kandar, the sweetest ABC in the neighborhood would be. It's not as exciting as trying everything other than the restaurant with the fanciest sign, but it's better than blindly following the tour/crowd.

Well, cya then. Got more photos to upload soon.

Behind A Random Rhyme

Sometimes I wished I was a fish,
Living life with a splash splish.
Swimming so free,
As worriless as be,
Worse case scenario is to end on a dish.

But then I might end in a tank,
An unkempt aquarium (so dank!).
Be fed once a day,
To float, but not play,
I rather be working in a bank.

Speaking of banks, I need a cent,
Or a penny worth of thoughts to rant.
But what's creativity
To some rationality?
Artful thinking can't pay rent.

But I respect those with art and proses,
Their minds flower-y but sharp: roses.
It's said pay is bad,
But good friends to be had,
Fun chat times in moderate doses.

But I'm on this path of healing,
One that some might find appealing,
The hours be long,
But I must be strong,
For saving people would be the best feeling.

Behind Pokemon Go and find something better to do with your life

Let's face it, Pokemon Go was an overnight success. Granted, it took years of preparation and months of hyping prior to launch to make it the overnight success that it is. Bearing the brand Pokemon helps a lot as well.

For those who have no idea what Pokemon Go is, you must be living under a rock, or have no access to social media. And I don't think too hardly on you for that. TL;DR, you play a normal Pokemon game, except with a GPS and in the real world, and you beat gyms and collect them all, to be one in a million of very best trainers.

Gameplay mechanics remind me a lot of Ingress, a mobile game released a few years ago with similar principles. It's basically capture the point found in most multiplayer games, except these points are in real life, there are many points, and it is played in a map view like below:

Same concept, you get people to walk around their neighbourhood to complete tasks which gives you levels which gives you more reason to walk around. You join a team, which motivates each member to walk around some more, and hopefully obesity can be reduced.

I tried this game in my first year, but it was draining my battery and data, and I had no friends ;( ... playing this game. Granted this is still a very popular game, but just didn't interest me. Pokemon Go will also drain my data and battery, but I think I will play it because... POKEMON :D

I do not have a data plan in Malaysia, so I won't be able to play until I return to the UK, where I will start my journey amongst level 50 veterans. But at least there will be strategy guides. So the arrival of Pokemon Go to Asia won't really affect me... yet. Although it would provide entertainment in terms of people watching. MORE PHONE ZOMBIES!

What's intriguing about this game is the apparent pure addiction this game has launched many people into. You get news about people stopping their cars in the middle of the road or congregating around some poor soul's house to catch Pokemon. Because you have to be the very best, no matter what it takes. Ever since 1996, it was some kids' dream to catch Pokemon in real life, and now that the chance presents itself, who could resist? Even I'm itching to get in on the action.

As a hardcore casual gamer myself, I understand the addictionist-completionist nature which would propel people to insane lengths to geddem all. Just check my Cookie Clicker. (Please don't click that. It sucks your soul.) On the other hand, I am a lazy sack of nuts, and if the weather looks slightly dark outside, I won't go out. And it gets pretty dark often in London. 

And honestly, I find it stupid. The whole point is to make people healthier by walking, but you get a whole group of people to look at their phone all the time. Sure, you make a community of gamers, but is this the society you want? A segregation of gamers and non-gamers on the same road? But I exaggerate. I just hope people look where they are going, and take care about the time spent on Pokemon hunting/farming. Don't forget to eat, sleep, and talk to your loved ones.

But I can, nay, I will get pretty addicted once I return. Even I don't know what I would do once I am a Pokemon trainer. I can only hope that I won't end up doing crazy things like midnight expeditions, getting lured into a mug spot or attaching my phone to a cat to hatch an egg.

But I might. Who knows. I have to be the very best innit?

Cya at the Gym. The Pokemon Gym.

Behind Punday Monday

So this guy, his wife and their child walks into Rotund Rings, your generic donut shop.

Each of them wanted one doughnut each. So the wife and the kid sat at the table and waits, while the guy walks up to the counter and orders a Tri-Box Set, containing three donuts, which is a perfect size. The counter clerk informs him: "I'm sorry, sir, we no longer have the Tri-Box Set as it wasn't really popular. Now,  Donuts come in boxes of one, a Duo Donut set, a Quatro Donut set, a half-dozen or a dozen."

The man shrugs, and just orders three donuts. And then decides to go to the toilet, leaving the wife to pick up the donuts. Soon, the clerk beckons to the wife to pickup the donuts.

The wife arrives at the counter to realise that the box that the clerk brought out was only big enough for two donuts.

"I thought we ordered the Tri-Box set?!"

The clerk came around carrying the third donut in a bag, and said to the angry wife:

"Duo donuts. There is no Tri."

....

I'll see myself out. Cya,

Behind some shit I've promised 3 months ago

With friends like mine, I should really learn to keep my big mouth shut.

So, I will attempt to answer the above questions with enough honest sass as possible.

Benefits of the third reich.
Everyone is now united in hate towards a common enemy, and world peace (or something resembling it) has been achieved. At least, until someone manages to become the President of the United States...

The joys of anal sex
Essentially doubling the number of sex position, hence doubling the size of the porn industry. Can't say the same about fun in the bedroom tho... Does prevent accidents, but there are risks of... accidents. Smelly kinds. Well, not as if the other kind ain't smelly eventually.

I was eating a plate of siew yuk and got an erection. Why?
Well, I guess it's because you've been watching too much porn, and too much foodporn. And soon enough, one type of meat starts to look like another; starts to smell like one another; starts to taste like one another. Like, mate, I know you like that salty sauce, but I think it's time for you to go vegetarian.

Or maybe you just enjoy necrophilia, who am I to judge.

Why is strawberry milk the best milk flavour of all?
Because it goes so well with siew yuk. Or whatever meat you consume.

Which pokemon is the most attractive and why?
Magneton. Nuff said.

I don't like dishonouring promises, so here you go. Have fun. Cya!

Behind Animal Cruelty Part 1

Based on what I have observed throughout my life in Malaysia and UK, animals that humans spend a lot of time with can be broadly separated into two categories:

• Animals that humans keep as pets (friend)
• Animals that people raise for their produce (food)

And as far as our feelings go, it's pretty clear cut. We care about our pets when they are next to us, and we care about the latter group of animals when they are in front of them. On a plate.

It is the animals that do not belong to any of the above groups, however, that intrigues us humans the most. It's the kind we only find roaming the jungles, savannas or tundras of the world, or, more commonly, the zoos of our cities. It's the animals very few have tried to eat, and fewer have tried to befriend. It's the animals of the wild, that some people do keep as exotic pets that can at any moment turn on the owner. It's the gorillas, the crocodiles and the ostriches of this world.

Now I'm mentioning these three animals in particular, as I am sure most of you would know why.They have been in the news recently for doing things they are "not supposed to". First two animals rose into infamy recently for bringing harm to kids.In Cincinnati, a gorilla was shot because a kid fell into an enclosure, and was thereafter rescued. In Florida, 5 crocodiles were killed because a kid waded into a lake and seemed tasty. Each time, the parents were at the scene, and tore their eyes off their kids. So, who's at fault for killing those animals?

I'm not going to write about racism issues or how much media attention they are getting, because the whole point of this article is that it is clear how we value lives of humans against lives of endangered animals. One human life demands 5 innocents. Which on a supply-demand curve does not make sense, since there's so many of us and so few of them.

But humans are illogical when it comes to humans.

Like, imagine a hunter killed a deer and took it home as trophy, right? And a herd of big antler-ed deer ran into the nearby village to find it, right? And in the process gored and trampled a whole family. Clearly their deaths are justified.

Whoops, rambling again.

So, the moral of the story is humans > animals, regardless if they are friends, food or neither.
The thing about the neither category is we don't know what to do with them.

Do we leave them be? But we need the land!

But why?

Do we kill them all? But we need to preserve their existence!

But why?

Do we stick them in zoos? But we will feel bad for robbing their freedom!

But why?

In the end, it's always about us selfish humans. Who really cares about animals nowadays eh?

Cya, fellow dominant species.

Ostriches should run in within the next week.

Behind Living Once

Alright, to continue the thought I left off previously.

People only live once in their lives. Sadly, a third of them is spent sleeping, and a further third is spent working to make money to try and continue to live. So it is quite logical to try to make the most of that final third of your life.

Right now, I AM in that third. So, I should really be going out and enjoying what life, and London in particular, have to offer. The thing is I really have not been doing so. People have been going on trips every break, and seeing all the musical and plays; I just stay home and play video games. I have some regrets.

Often I use the lack of money as an excuse. Which of course is a perfectly legitimate excuse. However, there comes a point in one's life where one realises that one is running out of time, but not of money. I know, I simply KNOW that I will regret it if I don't do something crazy before I graduate, nay, before third summer is over (since we only have one month of summer the following year). Usually this would involve a lot of memories, travelling time, and money, as well as pictures and happiness. It's a balance of fun and liabilities.

So I think I've decided to go wayyy overboard this summer. Japan. USA. Penang. Basically not really spending too much time at home. But I like it. It's now or never.

*   *   *   *   *

Which is why it is a shame to hear news about people who die too soon. 

It comes as a shock to people hearing about the death of Christina Grimmie, a contestatnt of The Voice who was shot last week, and died at the young age of 22. The motive was unclear, but it was clearly planned out in advance, not through a mad dash of insanity.

Her death echoes that of John Lennon, who was murdered in a slightly similar fashion in December 8, 1980. Fans worldwide were devastated, and there was a huge hubbub. And then there will still be a whisper in the future, but still never forgotten. The memory of a death is measured by the lives touched before. (I quoteth.)

Her death and senseless murder is especially saddening because she was at the rise of her career, and in an alternate universe where she was alive, who knows what she would've done. Inspired the next Idina Menzel? Led charity works around the world? Or descend into Done-Disney Despair? No one will know now. It's a waste of potential, and one that doesn't seem justified however you cut it. She hasn't done anything wrong.

Two days later and you hear of another SERIES of sensless deaths. A shootout at a gay bar in Orlando, killing at least 50 people. This time the person responsible was allegedly part of the Islamic state, with the motives suspected to be either death to sinners or death to Americans. That was a shame, and all my prayers be with them. But for me, the saddest part is that there is a news report stating that some Malaysians actually condone the death of sinners and deviators of nature. To me, I don't actually care what you think. As long as you don't butt your nose into other people's lives, or worse, snuff it out, then I will respect your opinion. I expect a two-way relationship in this matter.

Sadly, I know that is not how life works, and I have to accept that life is unfair. But a guy has to have principals.

*     *     *     *     *

That got morbid.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that death does not give a shit about what you've done or what you think about other people (and vice versa) and what you've achieved in life. When it comes, it comes.

You literally only live once.

It's two extremes we have, putting yourself in danger because everyone dies anyway, or the scenario described above. 

Whereas I will continue doing the things I want to do, because in the end, we only have one life to experience the world. I'm somewhere in the middle, like Malcolm.

Life is unfair.

Anyway, that's my late night ramblings. Thanks everyone, and remember to say I love you to those you care about.

Cya.

Behind Mile High Thoughts

I keep reviving my dead blog like this, I’m not sure why.\

But it has been an interesting year indeed. Now that summer holidays have begun, I would like to use this ridiculous time I have now on the plane to collect my thoughts and write something about it.

Summary one, medicine is a people’s profession. Like seriously, if you don’t like people, please find a more number orientated job. Hopefully a job that doesn’t require you to have connections to climb the ladder. Which is basically…. Nothing. So basically you really need to know people. This is why co-curricular activities are important kids. You get to meet friends who might one day be your law partner. Or maybe even your soul mate. Who knows. So stay in school kids.

But I’m rambling again. Where was I? Medicine. Right.

So in medicine, you talk to patients every day, you talk to doctors every day, you talk depend on nurses every day. So people skills are important. Communication skills are important. Not offending people is also an important skill to have. Therefore, one might need to learn on the job about different expectations of people. To be honest it’s really like real life. Like have you seen those aunties bargaining for fruit at a Saturday morning fruit market? Now THAT’S communication skills.

In essence, be nice to people, and people will be nice to you, but don’t be afraid to assert.

Summary two, big things are afoot.

In the UK, the biggest news would probably be the upcoming Brexit referendum coming up (short for British Exit). In case you are not clear what is that about, this is basically some people want UK out of the EU, some people want to remain there. They will, of course, still continue to use the sterling pound either way, but this would have a great impact about the future of the UK. On one hand, staying in the EU would probably mean better trade relations and easy migrations between UK and other EU countries. On the other hand, leaving would avoid the potential economical harm brought about by the refuge crisis from Syria (balance of ethics and feasibility) and the troubles brought about by easy migrations between UK and other EU countries. This kinda puts the NHS new junior contract business on the sidelines for the time being, but nevertheless that contract will inevitably be the) and the troubles brought about by easy migrations between UK and other EU countries. This kinda puts the NHS new junior contract business on the sidelines for the time being, but nevertheless that contract will inevitably influence the future of the NHS, in terms of the future ethnical composition of the doctors and patients, as well as resources available.

Also, it would seem more and more likely that the USA would be electing either her first female president or first orange president. Ones rather flip-floppity, the other’s super extravagant; both aren’t exactly the most popular of candidates, at least from who I know in the UK and the Internetz, which we all know is an accurate representation of real life.

But my personal thoughts? Nothing much would probably change in my day-to-day life regardless. People still have jobs to do and food to eat, and most don’t want any sudden change in the status quo. I will still be a student, and eventually be a doctor. The tube will still run on time, the KTM will still be late, and the Earth will still be warming up.

But then again I am an extremely short-sighted person who doesn’t really care for big decisions not obviously affecting his short- to middle-term future. This viewpoint will offend someone eventually, esp those seeking change close to home, thus contradicting summary one. I still won’t care, but I should. I really should.

Summary three, live life.

People who entered university at the same time as me are graduating already. Like, wow. 

I think I'll write up on that tomorrow. I have time after all.

Cya tmr.

Behind 2016: As the trains pass

So another year has come and gone, with nary a flake of snow in the sky.

As I write this, I realise that just yesterday, there was a very brief flurry of whiteness, blanketing the tarmacs of London for a very brief moment, before disappearing.

Such is winter in London, and the snow is analogous to the impact of my actions on the lives of the people around me. I can make a big hoo-ha about it and share it on social media accounts, but in the end it doesn’t really matter much except an annoyance to someone.

Man, there I go being melodramatic about everything again. I’ve got to stop that. I know it makes for good writing, but I swear on any three gods you believe in, I am not this pessimistic in real life.

So now I will resolve to be more open and more neutral in my viewpoint of life. Enjoy the little things, but not make them big.

I want to make a point to everyone that was not a resolution, because we all know what happens to resolutions in the end. That was more of a….. resolvation?

I will also make a point here that I will continue making words up. If Shakespeare can do it, why can’t I?

Anyway.

As I step into 2016, I realise that I’ve already spent 3 months of my school life being in hospital, meeting patients. I know for a fact that this will be what I am doing for the rest of my working life as well, and I am glad to say that I can see myself doing so. What I hope will change is the fact that, honestly, even after the hell that is the first two years of medical school, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing.

I am going to be 22 soon, which means I have legally adulted for almost a whole year.

…a hiatus happens…

And I continue my post a clean week after I first started it. Great.

I have to do something about the regularity of my posts.

I mean, I know it isn’t the most important thing to do in my life, but at least I need to have control of the little things in life, before moving on to big things.

I guess that’s what adulting is all about.

After we graduate, we work.

After we work, we marry.

After we marry, we have kids.

And then we grow old. That’s scary.

The things my mind come up with, I swear.

I will want to write about the scholarships and the terrorism and the corruption and all, but this post is long overdue. Time to hand it in and catch the next train to the hospital.

Cya.

Behind Choc Chip Cookies Musings

I have no idea what I should do now.

My was-summative, now-formative exam is over, I don't have patients to see, and I'm not in the mood to prepare notes for the exam in January.

So I baked a couple trays of chocolate chip cookies.

And everyone knows that baking is simply following the recipe and making sure the cookies to burn.

So as my hands work, my mind begins to wander backward through time, through the entirety of 2015. And I realise, my life might not be actually as boring as I've always liked to describe it.

I've traveled a bit, to Iceland, Sweden and Singapore. I've met new people, made good food, written a lot little. Moved house, bought a bike, paid bills (GAWD). I would like to say that there was no drama involving the heart involved, but that would be a lie.

And then I look at myself. Things have happened, but how much have I changed from all this? How much have I learnt, and improved myself as a person? I mean, right now, I look back, and I realise that there are things I did which I will never do now, and will probably regret to the end of my life. But the real question is, will I ever be smart enough to never repeat them ever again? The fact that I am hesitating right now while pondering the idea means that I'm probably still not really mature inside. I still have a lot to learn.

I should really talk to more patients while in hospitals. Technically, they are all senior to me in this course called life, and would definitely have some wisdom of life to impart. As medical professionals, we learn from the books and the research, but we stand to learn a lot more from our patients. This is the reason they deserve respect from patients, even as they look up, or down, upon the medical team.

Alright the batter is done. Time to shape them into little balls on this greased tray and chuck them into the oven for.... Half an hour? Keeping time isn't exactly one of my strong points. Anyway....

Slightly switching topic here, I wonder how much the world has changed. Honestly probably not much. Music is getting shittier, countries still cannot decide on a common stance on various issues (environment and war), important people are still corrupt. Rights are still misplaced, depending on who you ask. And the internet is still getting darker and darker.

I guess the only thing that has changed is my view of the world, and even then, not much. Not sure when it has started, but I seem to have always been cynical of the world. I've always been told that the people in power are abusing them. And then I realise that people who say that are often the ones not in power, and in a lot of hate. And then I realise that it happens on the government's side as well. And then I realise that everybody lies in politics. And that's when my hate for all politics and love for political jokes began.

But seriously, people are assholes, especially if they are fighting for something abstract, like a book or imaginary figures. Money and oil, I understand. Self-defense, I understand. But goddamn arbitary beliefs? Which may or may not be true? This is why I don't have beliefs.

Wait. No that's not what I meant. That came out wrong.

But the first batch of cookies came out alright. Time for the second batch.

Now I think that I've ranted enough for one day. I'm really not satisfied with myself. But I try my best.

I AM satisfied with these cookies tho. Mmmmmmmmm.

Want some? Cya at Christmas.

Behind the Dates We Remember

Remember, remember the 5th of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot;
There should be no reason why gunpowder and treason,
Should ever be forgot.

A wish was made on a birthday: July 8th,

Friends, food and fine dining;

Over the food he had no mood,

To face the prospect of dying.

Remember, remember the 11th of September,

Two planes, two towers and plot; 

There must be a war, at expense of the poor,

Every year no one forgot.

One month before: June 24th,

He was enlisted to risk his life;

He gave her a ring and bought her a ring,

He asked her to be his wife.

Remember, pray, the 13th of May,

Chinese, Malays and plot;

Remind them today in every possible way,

Lest bigots be forgot.

It finally ends: August the 10th,

He returns home from his deploy;

She didn't forget, she was in bed,

Celebrating their newborn baby boy.

The dates we remember are the ones that mean most,

To celebrate what is gained and mourn what is lost;

To replenish the dedication in our soul,

But for whose cause? I don't know.

They mark the divergence in our paths,

And we can but only look back and laugh

Or grief at things that made us who we are,

As long as we are not used.         Cya.

Behind A Wheely Bad Pun. Frame Me. I already Spoke of the Wheel.

Sorry about the lack of updates, it's just... I've been busy. Being around in hospitals really takes the inspiration out of you.

I just want rant about bike thievery. I understand that it is a thing that exists in London, and that there always were warnings and precautions heralded by the gov, the uni, the media.... about keeping your bike safe and secure. But well... to put it in haiku:

Listen all you like,

If advice is not heeded,

Bye-bye to your bike.

Yeah, I lost a bike. RIP bike. I don't have a name for you; I'm a shitty owner. But if I did I'll be even more upset to find out you were taken. To the bike thief: I don't know who you are, or what you want, but I do know this. I will find you, and....

Oh who am I kidding. Last year 381,000 bikes were stolen, and only a fraction of them retrieved. Chances are my old bike had already been sold off to some unsuspecting student needing a cheap second- (maybe even third- or fourth-, who knows?) hand bike. I even bought it second-hand; chances are it was already stolen.

But it is difficult to find a good bike. Even in games it costs 1,000,000 PokeDollars. This is why there is such a good market for used bikes. There is a demand, so there will be a supply. No exceptions.

I suppose I go on a tangent on how I'm supporting the market by buying potentially stolen bikes. But, if the alternative is spending 4 pounds everyday waiting on the tube, I'm willing to live with the consequences.

To illustrate, the second second-hand bike I bought the second after the week I lost my bike cost me 43 pounds. It means that after commuting with it for 11 days, the price already evens out. That sounds like a really good deal.

In the ideal society, we would live literally 5 minutes walk away from wherever we need to be. Alas, this is London. Hence, cars, trains and bikes were invented, and none of them cheaply. As a student, I am forced to take the cheapest, and least pollutant-producing, of the evils.

BUT NOTHING IS AS EVIL AS STEALING THE BICYCLE THAT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!

Honestly it was locked to a pole and everything too.

I guess shit happens. Thus, new old bikes are bought. Out of necessity, and for the love of my wallet, whom from now one I shall name Hairpins. Because they turn up even if you don't try.

You know, just in case.

Cya on the roads!

Behind Thinking of Exams in the Holidays

the caffeine runs through 

my veins from my 

superior mesenteric vein to the portal vein to the hepatic system to my IVC to my right atrium

then 

to the right ventricle to my lungs back 

to the left atria 

to the left ventricle to the aorta to the carotids up 

to my Circle of Willis to the meningeal arteries pass the blood-brain barrier diffuse into my Neuronal cell bodies hyperstimulation electrical impulses shooting in all directions

by Kylie Ang, 2015

Just a peek into my medical year ahead, starting in 5 days.

I will leave this home in 3 days for another abode.

Finish packing and shopping in two days.

Finish writing in one day.

Less than one day to cite/steal/be inspired a poem.

Time actually flies, don't you think? And before I know it exams will be here again. Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo.............

Which is why 50% of my luggage would be powdered coffee.

Cya in the UK, and God bless the Queen. She's been there for a looooooooooooooong time.

Behind Unity and Hope

To all my fellow Malaysians,

Happy 58th Independence Day!

As a kid born in the nineties, I will admit that I do not know first hand the struggles of the people leading up to the liberation of the country from the British colonist. I also do not know the change in the life of an average person before and after Merdeka.

What I do know, however, is that every race banded together and promised the colonists everlasting muhibbah in order to win that independence. And the only way we can progress as a nation is using that same mindset.

I know some of us may think differently. Some may think that certain individuals are blocking the way ahead to a better future, and are better off off the office and the pages of history. Some may think that putting aside differences means yielding to those of other colours and beliefs, and will stop at nothing to stop it. Some believe that violence will lead to a better future, some are skeptical, some are dead against it. Some think it will be better as long as everything is unchanged.

I don't know who is right. But if anything really happens, I really do hope that everyone will be left.

Despite its flaws, I love this country. I love the people. I love the mixture of food of which may or may not lead to abdominal discomfort. I love sitting in air conditioning and complaining about the rain/sun. I love waking up to a cup of milo or teh tarik every morning.

I guess I just love my home, and I want only the best for it.

Only I can't see a way forward now that doesn't involve pissing off a substantial group of the population. If it was that easy, the country will be heaven.

But it's not, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I can only be thankful for what has been done for, to and by this country, and pray to any god you believe in for further peace and unity.

Only then will the path reveal itself.

Probably.

Cya in a colour-blind future!

Behind A Holiday Hazy Daze

3 more weeks before I return to London? OMFG. Where did all that time go?

But I do enjoy this life. Really I do. I feel... rested.

But at the same time, restless.

I HAVE TO DO SHIT. I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT, I NEED SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

Provided that it's not illegal or ill-advised or overly expensive, of course.

I don't know why I'm complaining so much. When term starts, I've plenty to do.

And yet....

I don't even know what I want now. And when I do, it's often 25 minutes too late.

This is when I slap myself in the face and scream internally:

You. Only. Live. Once.

Regretting stuff is not a very productive way to spend my life.

So I do shit. Cheap, legal, socially accepted shit.

Sigh.

You can tell from these bursts how restless I actually am.

ROTI CANAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiii....

I swear this haze is affecting my brain. How can I go for a run now....

I should gym more often. I mean, improving oneself is always good right?

What am I even writing.

I give up.

So, YOLO, wrote a rant.

Yeah,

Cya.

Behind A Teh Tarik Substitute

What is a latte?

According to Google:

But apparently you can substitute coffee with matcha green tea?

Part of a menu at Nana's Green Tea. Available in 1U. Wanna go grab a cuppa?

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I love matcha.

I only wish that such good stuff isn't that expensive.

And I also wish that bad stuff wouldn't be that expensive.

Like Starbucks for example. I know how many people complain that Starbucks sells overpriced coffee, and it's a common joke that you pay all that for 7 tablespoons of sugar anyway. I mean for 5 pounds I can buy enough coffee powder, milk and sugar to last me a month, and in a correct proportions as well.

But why, oh why, does it TASTE SO GOOD?

I swear, if Starbucks release a matcha flavoured drink for a limited time, I will go broke.

But anyway. I don't really care that much for any kind of drinks right now  All I want is an excuse to meet my friends. I have only 2 months here in Malaysia, I want to meet as many of my old friends as possible, over any kind of drink at any kind of table. As long as we can all talk shiz over a good cup of broth, I would be happy.

Of course, the sweeter the drink, the sweeter the conversation. Probably.

Anyway, drinks today are getting weird. But that's okay, because I'm getting weird too.

Let's all go out on a weird day together.

Cya over a drink.

Behind An Animal's Malice to Alice

Literally every animal in that book was bullying Alice. Either they were all species-ist, Alice really offended everyone, or those drugs really did not agree with her.

And we all sympathise with Alice, because she is a main character, because she is pretty much the only human in the book, and because she is the *seemingly* sane person in an insane world.

Except I got it all figured out. The world's insane, I'm insane, everything is alright.

But now people seems to be very sympathetic with a non-human in Zimbabwe. Well, was a non-human anyway.

I am of course talking about Cecil the lion. Requiescant in pace.

You're... afraid of me?

It is a shame to hear about the death of one known as a friend to many people, especially across races. This fact is a little bit of good news in this tragedy. It's also very heartening to know that the whole of humankind still stands up against the face of the bullying of the harmless Alice, especially if no other humans share the same race as him/her.

Of course, there are still some who consider the act of sadness over Cecil's death and the subsequent #MurdererDentist hullabaloo to be as senseless as the looking glass. The argument goes that why are people making such a big fuss over the death of one measly lion when, everyday, big game hunting happens across the world, and humans are performing atrocities way worse than death upon their own kind. What can be worse than death? Well, the destruction of a race, a future, a nation, a culture.... You name it, someone is probably equipped to destroy it.

But you know what I see from all this? I say all this is happening because Cecil is a celebrity.

"Dad? Wake up, you're famous now! Dad? Dad, please answer me!"

....that was too soon, wasn't it?

Let's face it, this phenomena happens even to humans.
Van Gogh didn't make money from his paintings until he died.
Micheal Jackson suddenly wasn't creepy anymore and sold a lot more albums when he died.
Steve Jobs is still honoured as a tech god even though half of the Internet thought of him as a thief.
And there's a whole lot of celebrities I only know existed because of their obit, and I bet there will be a lot more to come for me and the generations to come.
But still I pray. Requiescant in pace.

And the same thing is happening with Cecil right now. A month ago, I didn't know who Cecil was. And now, I don't know anyone who doesn't know Cecil. It's like I entered a rabbit hole to a world where Cecil is adored and praised.

Or it's just the plain fact that the Internet is too powerful. More powerful than the drugs Alice was on.

Now don't get me wrong. I am absolutely against any kind of game hunting, big or small, and to be honest am still in an ethical debate with regards to farming.

But really, this has been blown out of proportion. There are murders! Fraud! Robberies! Murder robberies! A fraudulent robbery to cover up a murder! Elections! Political murders!

Or maybe I'm just subscribed to the people who cares about this sort of thing.

Sigh. That's the thing about human kind. We are bound more easily by hate than by love. I hate this sort of thought. Don't you agree? I need some tea to drown this madness.

But when all is said and done, we all still mourn the lost of a life known by many.

Requiescant in pace, Cecil. Maybe in my dreams I can cya, and you can tell me what you think?

Let us remember that other things are happening too!
Happy 50th Independence Day Singapore!

Behind Dear Siter and Anyone Who Listens

Around and in me, there be voices,
That make no sense, I call them noises.
The truth and lies are all atrocious,
Gosh.

Mmm whatcha say?
Oh that you only meant well?
Oh, of course, of course you did,
Pick us up after the school bell.

The people people demand silence,
Responded the others by defiance,
Responded again by violence,
Sigh.

Mmm whatcha say?
Oh that you only meant well?
What you say is not what they hear,
What they print is not what we tell.

I buy yours, I buy your competitor's,
Just to see which is better,
So I unsubscribe, won't read your letters,
Set.

Mmm whatcha say?
Oh that you only meant well?
Mmm, that it is just what we need,
Pave the road with good intentions.



Hide and seek. Cya.

Behind A Thorny Shell

It's good to be home!

And what better way to properly celebrate that than the smell of skunk mixed with a thousand spikes, the challenge one must face to reach the nectar of the gods (or the next best thing).

Yes sir, I am, of course, talking about the great king of fruits, the DURIAN.

du·ri·anˈ(do͝orēən,-rēˌän): Malay origin. Literally "of the thorns"

Of course, being a student of the overseas, I understand that many would disagree with me on the nectar part. Especially with the smell mixed in. And I would understand that. Some durian can be quite disappointing.

What I don't understand is their description of that god-awful smell. They say it smells of socks, or sweat, or something smelly. I don't get it. It just smells like.... durian.

Perhaps it is because I grew up with it, being exposed to it, habituated by it. I have not not seen a durian stall until I reached the UK. And durian flesh is delish. Most durian flesh anyway.

Usually here I would put some weird metaphor about how some people are like the durian: thorny and unpleasant first impressions, but fresh and bittersweet in the middle. Of course, with all metaphors, it comes with several unsuitable comparisons, such as that you can find good friends by their size, smelling a special place of them, and shaking them next to your ear.

I for one disapprove on being treated like that by potential friends, people I do't even know.

Anyway, I hope I can really meet up with what my friends back here in Malaysia; see what they have been up to. I really miss a lot of them.

Cya over a cuppa teh tarik? And possibly a durian or two?

Behind Becoming Stronger

Do we need a reason to continuously improve ourselves?

Perhaps I have been watching too many animes and movies, but it seems that the usual archetype of the character wanting to become stronger usually has a reason to it. It could be an event in the past, such as the loss of something due to what he might consider as self-incompetence. It could be an expected event in the future, such as winning a kung fu/karate tournament. Or the reason could even be in the present, such as a promise to one who is dear.

But is it possible to want to become stronger just for the sake of becoming stronger?

I wonder sometimes why improving oneself is not an intrinsic nature of the human. I mean, we constantly churn out new and improved versions of our gadgets, almost on a daily basis. But it's only the things we use, not ourselves per se. And even then, not every human participates in the improvings, only a few who are well versed in engineering usually involve themselves. Perhaps we can consider genetic engineering... But that is beside the point.

Perhaps that's why humans can progress. Some can improve all, so that the work of all is improved, for the sake of everyone.

But I would like to think for myself, and be selfish while I still can. While I have the time, I would like to invest in myself. Why? I don't know.

Just in case?
To become fitter?
To impress someone?
To beat someone?
To avenge the death of the family fishes?
To be better than my past?

I don't know. So until the reason presents itself, I will try and become stronger.

Cya.