Behind Being Free & Busy at The Same Time

You may think that what with A-Levels being over and stuff, I would have a lot of Laze time with the laptop and a book, with possibly a nice cup of smoothie. I seem to be into smooothies nowadays.

And I have been. Swhat I'm doing now, and The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender is sitting right next to the laptop, tempting me to make myself sad again. As for the smoothies, well there's milk, banana and avocado in the fridge. I take my time.

But then again, I've been out a lot recently. The JPA/BTN camp, the class trip to Redang, and the family trips to Sg Lembing and Chiang Mai (that's in Thailand). And I really enjoyed it. Experience and beauty. I love them all for that. To make me busy in my free time so that I don't go insane. But...

Thing is, I wanna do nothing. Like, really nothing. I wanna keep track of my thoughts and see where they lead me. I want to think of myself and what I actually do and how I really affect people and how people affect me. Most of all, I don't want my path to be set by other people for me. So that I could change for the better.

This is a very insightful journey, but a perilous

one too.

Sometimes I think I'm Charlie from Perks of Being A Wallflower.

And then I slap myself and say that that's a worst case scenario. I should be grateful, and I am.

But now, after A-Levels results are out, (got what I expected, thanks for asking), I'm getting kinda scared. I mean, in another month or so, I'll be flying off to live alone in the UK. Well, not really alone. I'm sure there're great people there. But I don't wanna grow up.

The reason why I'm so down while writing this post is because of visa applications. So many forms... So many documents.... I have lots to do, yet I can't do anything while I wait for responses to my queries.

Email sucks.

Hence the second meaning to the blog post title.

Short post today. Can't really focus with the visa forms sitting on the other side of the laptop, facing lemons.

Cya soon.