Behind A Longing For Sun

Seven

Excitement surged as she turned the page.

"A New Beginning," read the chapter's title.

Suddenly she froze and tightened her grip.

She wanted to turn back the page

to her pampered life; her comfort zone

but gone was the piece of paper.

She was just grasping at thin air.

Her father's words rang in her ears.

"You are on your own now, Claudia."

The seven opening words of the chapter.

It was daunting, treading a new path.

Strong winds blew as she stepped forward.

It wasn’t going to be smooth sailing.

Saying a prayer, she embraced the future.

Claudia lifted her head and looked around -

unfamiliar faces and cultures, rich and diverse.

It was surreal being where she was;

university, an institution of the highest level.

She'd envisioned this in her younger days.

She pinched herself – it wasn’t a dream.

Wasn't it just yesterday that school began?

Worry lingered at the beginning of term.

Would she adapt, would she fit in?

She was responsible for grown-up things.

Finances, shopping – she wished she were wiser.

Mistakes were made and lessons were learnt;

about time to change her ignorant ways.

Independence was now hers, like never before.

Occasional phone calls came from miles away.

"I'm fine," she'd say, "don't worry now."

Fond recollections of home flitted her way.

Love and warmth - she missed it all.

Sometimes she awoke with a transient heartache.

Her dog was old, time ticked away.

She longed to stroke its fur again.

Claudia had much to discover about herself.

She realised just how little she knew.

The enchanting city opened many concealed doors.

An adventurous soul came to the surface.

Perspectives were changed and new hobbies emerged.

Here began her quest for self-discovery.

She looked forward to the journey ahead.

Winter poked its head around the corner.

Sunlight shone through the clouds of uncertainty.

Her strength grew with each passing day.

She loved the feeling of starting afresh;

this thrilling new chapter of her life.

It will change her, this she knew.

Seven more months and she'll be home.

* * *

So this is a poem written by my friend for her creative writing course, whom I shall not name due to Malaysian reasons.

It may not be the best of writing styles, but I like it. Because it shows reflects the feelings of most international students studying here in London. 

To discover ourselves; to improve ourselves; and to make the most out of our youth, so that we can look back without regrets. But at the same time, we must not forget our roots, for it is our home that makes us who we are. We must strive to balance the past and the present, to make the best for our future.

Sure you might say: "Anyone can write a poem with feelings." You might be even tempted to do so now. It is easy, no doubt.

But notice that this poem is a form of restrictive writing, with each stanza having 7 lines and each line having 7 words. I agree, it is still easy to write something like that, but the magic happens when you truly put effort into what we do: spending hours thinking of the perfect word or the perfect metaphor; ensuring that the mood of the poem shifts with each stanza etc. Only when there is a limit to our actions can our creativity truly shine through. We make the best of what we have to create a masterpiece.

And is that not the reason why we choose to study away from home? To step out of the care of our families and into the harsh world, so that we will merely get a taste of what being independent is truly about. But we survive, for we adapt to our new environment and make the most of our time here, and go home a new person.

Same but different, hopefully.

I should not steal the spotlight. Cya for now. 

PS Sorry for my previous post. Them moods. D: On a lighter note, here's another piece of literature:

Merry Xmas!!!

Behind People's Shadows

I had always liked to be around people. Talking to them, knowing them, or just having fun.

But the thing is I always do not know what to say to them.

Invariably the conversation will switch to a topic I have no idea about.

Like DoTA. Or football. Or engineering course. Or gossip about some friend.

What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

Often you can see me in groups deep in conversation, but most of the time, I am quiet, like a shadow without a mouth.

I like to think that I am a wallflower: a quiet friend who understand. And then I realised: I'm not happy being a wallflower. I want to be in the action, be a part instead of apart.

There is no worse loneliness than being alone in a crowd.

Deep shiz.

I mean, I do talk to people. I do. I just don't feel as if I belong sometimes.

The people I can connect to are those who are random, like how I hope to be. Life needs order, but that order should rise from chaos. Because it looks damn cool in a history book.

And then I heard this sentence in church the other day.

(In case you're wondering, I'm not Christian. I think.)

COMMUNITY DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN CONFORMITY. GOD (whoever He may be)

MADE US ALL TO BE UNIQUE, SO WHY SHOULD WE MAKE OURSELVES UNIFORM?

Deep shiz No. 2.

Aye. Maybe I've been trying too hard to be a part of the group that I'm changing myself, and failing at that too. 

I'm me, and that's what they should know.

I heard this sentence a long time ago, and it hit me real hard:

IF YOU STAND FOR NOTHING, 

YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING

Deep shiz No 3.

And maybe that's the problem. I don't believe, hence I am not, and I change.

The only thing predictable is that I am random.

What the hell.

Okay, I'm not gonna share this like the other posts. I sound quite attention needing here.

I MEAN LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF "I"S IN HERE!

But if you do see it, I'm sorry. I just need to shout.

Cya in counseling.

Behind A Fallen Star, And A Fallen Pillar

Remember a time when our standards were lower. When all we needed for entertainment were fast cars, furious gunners and frikking explosions. We may think we have left that time, but there is always something about the fast, the furious and the expletives that always bring us back for more.

Imagine, now, that an idol in this field; a simple actor, has perished in the exact way he lived on screen. Is this irony? Or is there a guy upstairs with a weird sense of humour, and finds this the proper ending, or distraction from world problems, like how much people hate their government, no matter who it may be.

Pictures of his passing fill the Internet, followed by pictures of people ridiculing people who mourn his passing. In a way, they are all and both wrong and right. He was just a lucky man who had met with an unfortunate death. But how much respect does he deserve?


Meanwhile, halfway across the globe...


Recall a time when the skin colour determines the social class. When all we needed to know was who worked for whom and where each persons' places are. We may think we have left that time, but there is always someone who is either selfish, backward, or just plain stupid enough who might wanna bring that time back.

I wanted, before, to be an impact; a simple person, to perish for how others wished to live. Is this selflessness? Or is there a guy upstairs with a weird faith in humanity, and makes it a divine guidance, or a hope for the world's people, to know that every person is equal, no matter who they may be.

People across the world fill the social media with their condolences, followed by the people in South Africa remembering how much their lives were changed by him. In a way, they are all affected by his action. He was just an unlucky man who had met with an extremely fortunate fate. But how much respect does he deserve?

Requiescat in pace,

 Paul Walker.

Requiescat in pace, 
Nelson Mandela.

Cya world.

Behind The Meaning of Crushes

Love in Greek mythology is EROS.

Which when rearranged gives us ROSE.
So love means expensive flowers?

Which when rearranged gives us ORES.
So love means expensive rocks?

Which when rearranged gives us ROES.
So love means expensive food?

Which when rearranged gives us SORE.
So love means cheap pain?

What is love?

Cya with the answer.

Behind Post-Lunch Waiting

A poem, because I have nothing to do.

A new place, 
A new group,
A new bunch of notes to be lugged;

Doth Thou
Spake English?

Same old face,
Same old soup,
Same old desire to be hugged.

Through the doors,
it was once a boundary between hot and cold;
Though it's so,
Now the roles are reversed,
Like those of a son and his old.

Through the glass,
it was once a flurry of leaves glistening in the sun;
Though it's so,
Now the colour's a-changing,
And soon they will be gone.

Through the days,
it was once the joy and fear of a kid;
Though it's so,
Now I must grow up,
Must the spirit be hid?

A new path,
A new post,
A new variation of the flu;
Same old laugh,
Same old ghosts,
Same old hope of something new.

Behind Brain Rot

So it's been nearly 3 months since the end of my college days.

I can feel my mind slipping away.

My judgement's all cloudy and stuff.

But uni will begin soon.

I wonder if I still have enough juice left?

C. Y. A.

Clap for Your Awesomeness. Let it rub off over me.

Behind The Chase and The Ensuing Wait

This was going to be a rant about how inefficient certain governmental bodies are.

You know how they always take their time with the stuff you process through them, including - no, ESPECIALLY when you need the process cleared right away. And it probably would never get done, unless you chase them every single hour of every single day. It's like an a- a donkey who would only move when prodded with a really sharp stick, and then not always in the right direction.

But then I realised that people do that all the time, and this post will end up to be another run of the mill ones.

So I thought of this article I saw on 9gag awhile back: >>>>>>>


A tad morbid, I know. But you have no idea how I feel when I deal with these govt people. Makes me wanna do this to them.

Who invented bureaucracy, anyway?

On a more serious note, I'm pretty sure the chase is a metaphor for something else. It usually is. Usually when someone says chase, he won't mean harry or persuade someone to put some effort into it. A chase is commonly associated with a goal, a prize, or more commonly, a random stranger who just happened to pull your handbag off your shoulder.

Chases are good things. If you reach your goal, you can give yourself a pat on the back, and tell yourself and everyone around you that all that effort was worth it; if you don't, well, at the very least you tried to grab the guy with your bag instead of trying to tweet the incident on your now non-existent phone.

But that's not the most important part. What is more important is what you do after you reach your goal.

Hooray for you! The chase is now over!    

Now what?

Do you end your journey?

Do you live the rest of your life in the comfort of your spoils?

Do you loiter about, telling yourself, your children and your grandchildren that you have once done something great?

Or do you set your sights on something greater, and start the chase anew?

There would always be something out there you don't know, don't have or didn't try. I made it my goal to catch'em all. It's a long journey, but as any runner nay tell you, it's much better than standing still.

Anyway, it's getting late. My dad's chasing me to bed. D: Cya.

Gratz for getting to the end. ^^

Behind Being Free & Busy at The Same Time

You may think that what with A-Levels being over and stuff, I would have a lot of Laze time with the laptop and a book, with possibly a nice cup of smoothie. I seem to be into smooothies nowadays.

And I have been. Swhat I'm doing now, and The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender is sitting right next to the laptop, tempting me to make myself sad again. As for the smoothies, well there's milk, banana and avocado in the fridge. I take my time.

But then again, I've been out a lot recently. The JPA/BTN camp, the class trip to Redang, and the family trips to Sg Lembing and Chiang Mai (that's in Thailand). And I really enjoyed it. Experience and beauty. I love them all for that. To make me busy in my free time so that I don't go insane. But...

Thing is, I wanna do nothing. Like, really nothing. I wanna keep track of my thoughts and see where they lead me. I want to think of myself and what I actually do and how I really affect people and how people affect me. Most of all, I don't want my path to be set by other people for me. So that I could change for the better.

This is a very insightful journey, but a perilous

one too.

Sometimes I think I'm Charlie from Perks of Being A Wallflower.

And then I slap myself and say that that's a worst case scenario. I should be grateful, and I am.

But now, after A-Levels results are out, (got what I expected, thanks for asking), I'm getting kinda scared. I mean, in another month or so, I'll be flying off to live alone in the UK. Well, not really alone. I'm sure there're great people there. But I don't wanna grow up.

The reason why I'm so down while writing this post is because of visa applications. So many forms... So many documents.... I have lots to do, yet I can't do anything while I wait for responses to my queries.

Email sucks.

Hence the second meaning to the blog post title.

Short post today. Can't really focus with the visa forms sitting on the other side of the laptop, facing lemons.

Cya soon.

Behind Islands and Not Caring For A While

So I was gone to Redang for 3 days. Twas a class trip. I decided unwind myself and just not care for a while.

Big mistake.

Boy, was it eventful.

Even before I left the mainland, memories happened.

I actually missed the goddamned flight to KTerengganu. I couldn't really blame anyone but myself for being such a blurhead and not noticing the difference between a Subang Airport and the LCCT.

I guess I deserved the following 7 hours only with myself as company. And I'm telling you, myself is a total bastard. The poison myself said cannot be reproduced here in this blog. All I can say is that I arrived to the Redang Reef Resort in a super foul mood, and did an unspeakable thing. After that, they say they were fine with it, but I wasn't fine with it, so fine me then.

And that's one.

SO the whole thing blew over quite well. And we went snorkeling, which is what you normally do at an isand like Redang. And I decided to go shirtless, since it was cloudy out. Only a Gaussian Blurred Sun can be seen in the sky, and I did have my sunblock, so I thought, I've cared enough, let's go under the sun!!!

And that's two.

I could swear that my shoulders were GLOWING RED the whole next day. It hurt when I put my hands up, put my put my hands up! (Standard party song line. Slightly related:

I love mashups.)

Always apply liberal amounts of sunblock at extremely short time intervals, especially during summer time, regardless of how cloudy the sky is. I JUST WANNA FEEL better shoulders.

And the rest of the trip went pretty dandy, with cards and drinks and food (repetitively and in no particular order). I really enjoyed myself there. Perhaps I'll mention this in another post. Because this post is a self-depreciating post about the downsides of not caring.

Thus, I will skip to the end of the trip to the airport before we leave. I went and paid Nicky RM 119 for the flight ticket ( reminds me, haven't gotten my 1119 cert yet. Hmm. ) And guess how much money I have in my wallet. Go on, take a wild guess.

RM 30. Frikking RM 30. From supposedly RM 400 I've withdrawn a week ago + RM 100 I got from my dad at the airport before I left.

I counted and I counted and I only calculated that I spent RM 350 at most.

Not exactly the correct meme to use here,
but with all this careless spending...
You get my point

Where did that money go?

How much did I actually spend there?

How much did I actually bring there?

And now I have a heart burn in addition to my skin burn, and awaiting a further word burn by my parents.

And that's three.

I just reckoned I'll be fine if I had enough in my wallet, ie I still had that purple 100 ringgit note.

 That's more like it.

And I ended up not caring at all.

Not about the feelings about my friends, not about my health, not about my finances.

This keeps up, I can't survive studying alone overseas. Definitely. I have to learn to care, even about the small things.

Cause small things say a lot about yourself.

And I think I've said enough about myself today.

Cya.

PS Those guys could really drink!!

PPS I really had fun there, despite all that. Really I did. I'm gonna miss them.

Behind Work Lag

lag       : Fall behind in movement, progress, or development; not keep pace with another or others.

jet lag  : Extreme tiredness and other physical effects felt by a person after a long flight across several time                     zones.

work lag : Fall behind in the progress of a project by various factors such that postponement becomes                                 inevitable and deadlines cannot be followed.

I hate work lag. That's my own term by the way.

I mean, good grief. I'm working on this yearbook for three months now? I ask for pictures, and I get no reply, or a reply that goes along the line of "I dunno, maybe you can ask so-and-so for pictures..."

I need results. This yearbook is for you. How do I do graphic design on the book if I don't get pictures?

But that is just me ranting. Back to work lag. Work does't get finished because of work lag. Work lag occurs because:

1) Problem Upstream

Which is the problem I'm having now. As an article graphic designer, I cannot do my work without the article (of course) and the pictures to furnish it with. I've been sending messages, calling, and patiently waiting, and yet most of my pictures come from the Head Ed herself, who of course is rushing all of us for the deadline. Meanwhile, other sources remain elusive, ie simply do not reply my messages. 

Shows the difference between efficiency of the team and individual efficiency, eh? 

2) Malaysian Timing

Malaysians are never on time is the sad truth. The first guy is late by a day, the second guy is late by another day, and so on and so forth, until there is a backlog of work lag. Enough said.

3) Procrastination

Very common. Finding pictures is a kind of work. There are many more things funner than work/There is another work more important than this. Therefore, the insignificant task of finding your pictures can be done tomorrow, provided no other pressing matters pop-up by then.

4) General Blurness

Example:

What, I'm supposed to find you pictures? No one told me that?

OR

Huhuhu, deadline's yesterday? Totally forgot, sorry.

OR

Sorry, I don't know, maybe you can ask so-and-so for pictures...


Sometimes I fear I may be guilty of the 4th one. But even so, I wouldn't know, due to general blurness.

I just wanna get it over with.

Time to work. Cya.

Behind Longest Camp Ever Part 2

Did the SAC/BTN camp change me at all? If it did, I probably won't notice.

It's like the age old wisdom where the only way to tell that you have not been brainwashed is the knowledge that you are being brainwashed.

To tell you the truth, that sounded like hogwash to me.

Only slightly related:

But then again, any washing in the camp seemed to focus primarily on our cups, plates and cutlery. (Had to restrain myself from playing the cup song there and then. Always stuck in my brain, for some reason.)

With six meals a day, that's a looooooooooooot of stuff to wash.

I guess the whole point of the food thing is that they spend you out really fast with some camp activities like Spider Web or Marching or A Trip To The Nearby Dam or Fishing A Bottle With A Nail or Coming Up With A Group Slogan or Building A Raft or even Watch A Movie. (Hati Melayu 1957. Not a bad movie, if you ignore the lack of flow and shaky dialogue. Informative? Definitely)

And THEN they give you a recharge (main ingredient: sugar) every four hours.

I thought that's how phone batteries die out fast. But I digress.

That's a dam nice view from the top and bottom of the damn.

Did not bring my camera. Had to steal from someone's
else's blog. Credit link in picture.

What makes this camp different from other camps, other that its insane length, is its insane amount patriotic songs and reference to governmental programs. Not in a bad way, of course. Most of the songs sound good and are REALLY sticky, esp Sudirman's. And it's good to know about what's actually happening in our country before going out so that you actually can talk about Malaysia with your overseas mates without sounding like you live under a rock/up a tree, as the common joke goes.

But how much of it is actually necessary?

I really hope I don't have to explain that Msia is between Singapore and Thailand.

Ah well. Something learnt, horizon broadened, blah blah blah. Maybe it might come in useful, who knows?

Okay, that's it for today. Cya.

But... will there be a part 3?

Behind Longest Camp Ever

Right now there is a firework display outside my house (even better than the ones during Chinese New Year).

There is also a Coldplay concert playing in the background, currently Fix You.

Or as Tweets go, #np

Life now is good.

Certainly much more relaxing than an 8-Day camp in Ulu Sepri, N9. 8 days?!, I hear some of you say. What kind of camp goes on for 8 DAYS?!!?!?

Well, this one does. And let me remind you that National Service goes on for 3 months straight. 8 days is nothing.

Well, what is this camp for, exactly? It's actually a pre-requisite for JPA scholars (aka scholarship from the government) before we can go abroad, in addition to having good results and an unconditional offer to a uni in their lists. (I can write a whole rant about that last part, but I'm in a good mood now. Don't spoil it.)

Well, since I have nothing to do with my time anyway....

And it's actually a decent camp. I had fun. Met a lot of fun people. Learnt things old and new.

Actually, I think I had fun because of expectations. I mean, you hear stories about govt camps having horrible facilities and lots and lots of brainwashing. Not to mention six meals a day, but I'm not complaining about that. Food is food.

And I am pleasantly surprised to find that in the face of these rumors, my batch remained sporting and made this a very memorable experience for all of us.

Details in the next post.

Cya.

Behind Smoke and Mirrors.. again

I believe I have already made a post about this here but it's gotten so bad I have to make another post.

We're all koffing and weezing now :D

I guess there's no helping it. An annual occurrence, with the sky no longer blue and the tendrils of smoke wrapping around lungs, giving them a great big hug.

And M and I are still pointing fingers.

Only this year (at least in mainstream media), Singapore has joined the fray in the annual noise making ceremony. I guess it's because it's in the path of forest smog's migratory path. But then, they can't always blame the govt, because (refer previous post).

Who to believe, who to believe. Reminds me of elections for some reason.

And some still are quite sore about the last one in Malaysia, what with them showing up in an OPEN-AIR PROTEST in this haze.

I gotta respect them for their steadfast belief, I guess. That, my friend, is determination.

Just hope they have their face masks on.

And what am I doing? I'm just sitting right here, melancholying.

Gotta look at myself inna mirror, and ask myself, who can you trust? What do you believe in? Why is there not an eight color in the rainbow? What am I gonna do with my life?

Time to look for answers.
...once I manage to see past all this haze, that is.

Cya.

Behind the End... or a Beginning?

So I guess this is it.

The final paper (Physics, in case you wanna know) which signifies the end of A-Levels.

And then we move on.

Not that I'm saying I'm not happy or anything. I am glad, more like relieved, that exams are over, for now at least.

But it saddens me that I would have to leave a bunch of wild friends that I have spent my education life with.

Again.

I mean, I understand. You go through primary education, you make friends, you leave primary school and enter secondary school, you make new friends, and the process repeats itself for every stage of your life you go through.

And I know that there are many others out there who might be just as wild, or just as mad, or just as kind, or just as pretty, or just as able to make me fall in love.

Sigh.... I guess I'm just a sod who has grown too attached to his companions. Maybe I'm just overthinking stuff.

Right now, I'm packing, sorting, inventorying, and hopefully selling the notes which have pulled me through all the exams. They're not the best of notes, but they did the job they had to do.

And to me, each note is like a story, a window to the past memories I have had. All the rumours and misunderstandings and laughters and words not said.

But putting stuff away is important. Otherwise how would you find the space to store the future?

The future is a star in the sky, aye. And the past keeps you grounded, aye. But the ground is there so that you remember who you are/were, and so that if you jump for the stars and miss, at least you would only fall for a short distance before you pick yourself up from the ground and try jumping again.

Of course, I'm not asking you to stay on the ground and stare at the sky.

I'm saying that the thing and people in the past will pave your way to the future, and it's good to keep them in your heart, so that when you make it in life, you would know what is important.

Sorry, I'm just too emotional now. I'll try and come out with a more coherent post sometime this week.

I wonder how university life would be... Anything like Monsters U, I wonder?

Anyway, cya soon when I stop feeling down over all these shifts.

Behind A Temporary Peace

...and a new age is born for Malaysia. For the social-media enlightened ones, that is.

Sure, some of us are kinda disappointed that they didn't succeed to toppl..... have a change in administration. But we're getting there.

Personally, before all this I really couldn't care less about who is up there, sitting on the ruling seat. I know whoever is there is going to be a croo.... an unliked person anyway. Besides, what with my A-Levels exam going on right now, I didn't think I have the time to care.

Apathy is happiness.

And then a few days before the BIG DAY, I made the mistake of checking Facebook one too many times. You know how  Facebook is usually full of government/opposition propaganda (depending who your friends are)? Well, it's hard to describe the feeling, but it was kinda like I was sucked into that whirlpool of emotions. It's like a herd/horde thing. Everybody in the same space, chanting the same message over and over again.... It's like a crowd in a concert, or a legion of fans at a game. You WILL be swept away by the current, no matter how hard you try.

And so, it sucked me in, messed with my mind, got me riled up, heightened my hopes, enraged my hamster, caused much disappointment, and spit me back out.

OF COURSE IT HURTS. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

I knew I shouldn't have cared.

Yesyes, before you go on and lecture me about how this is our country and how we are supposed to play our part in shaping the future etc etc, take a moment to think about this.

What do you think I can actually do right now?

Games emulate life, but one thing they always get
wrong is that life is not linear, and decisions are
so much harder to make.

I'm just a Pokemon loving student of A-Levels. Not eligible to vote. Prefers neutrality above all. And worst of all, fickle.

...I think I'll just focus on my A-Levels for now.

Just finished one week of intense paper 6s. I don't think I can do much thinking for now.

Now, given this temporary peace of post elec... decision making and the respite between now and the paper 5s in three weeks time, I think I should reflect on what I truly believe in, and how much of what I believe in does not stem from what others believe in.

Belief is a very dangerous thing to have,

especially if it's not yours

But I believe that pure ranting will not do anything to solve the problem at all. I'm going to find something to do.

Cya later.

Behind The Post-Results Depression

So A-Level results are out.

Luckily for me, I guess I did pretty well, definitely qualifying for a spot in medicine in a UK university.

But the general atmosphere around college is that of doom and gloom. What with all the 4th papers being a troll and all, lowering everyone's mark well below the level they needed/expected. So now everyone's like"I'm gonna retake this paper", "I can't slack anymore", "I need to study now"....

And with the additional release of SPM and STPM results, even social media can't escape this darkness. Sure, with elections coming up everyone is bound to get a higher grade (politics. don't ask.), but still people complain. I guess good is never good enough for some people, or they might just be unlucky.

I'm fine with that, really, given my results (HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOx9999).

But seriously, this made me think of a few things. 3, actually.


Number one. For those who got shitty results (according to them), complaining about your results won't change anything. So you rant about your results-not-meeting-your-expectations, fishing for sympathic comments, and what do you get? More time wasted on the page you ranted on, while you could use the time to actually prepare better for the next paper. Seriously, guys. While you go on and on about how the marker's/teacher's a beyotch and demanding for a remark/resit, some are out there working hard to make sure they don't get as bad a result. If you want something good that bad, work for it with your hands, not with your mouth.



Number two. For those who got outstanding results (according to them), congratulations. You deserved it. But please, don't shove it into everyone's faces. We know you did better than others, so don't tell them that every day. Imagine what that does to their self-esteem! Granted, I maaaay have slipped into that stage once or twice, but I know it's not good, to me and to others. I'm still keeping tabs on myself. It's not nice to have your nose so high up in the air.









Number three. And this is directed to myself. WHAT IN SEVEN BELLS ARE YOU DOING BLOGGING AND 9GAGGING WHEN EXAMS ARE TWO MONTHS AWAY?!!!?!? Seriously, I've gotta stop doing that. Everyone around me is affected by the post-results depression and studying to dry up the midnight oil, aaaand I'm here. Someone stop me please.

Here's hoping that everyone (me inclusive) will step up their game (...okay, might be a wrong choice of wording...) and make this year's result way better than last year.

Hopefully, when I write next time, it'll be after exams, and I'm not depressed.

Cya.

Behind Being Hot & Cold

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! (SNAKE YEAR!!!)

Considering that it's currently Chinese New Year, you would expect me to be sweating right now, what with all the sunlight and all the firecrackers and "bai-nian"ing and mahjonging and stuff.

Well, no. In fact, quite the opposite. Why, just two days ago I was so cold, there was snow on my coat, which I wore outside my hoodie, which I wore outside my long sleeved T-shirt, which I wore outside my singlet.

That's right, folks. The Jian is NOT in Malaysia, and it's winter where he is.

And even through all these layers, the chill still manages to slip in and stab its cold blade between my ribs. BRRRR!

Why am I in cold cold London, you may ask, when my family is enjoying Chinese New Year festivities back home? (Which I must say gets quieter and quieter each year. Hey, even my cousin in London sez that!)

Two words:

UNIVERSITY INTERVIEWS

Yep. I'm spending my time here for the sake of my future. The things I do to get into med school...

Apparently the med schools I'm applying to do not conduct Skype interviews or have representatives in Malaysia, only personal, real, face-to-face interviews. So 14 hours of sitting in an airplane later, and after 20 minutes per interview, here I am, looking forward for another 14 hours of flight time.

Which is ridonkulous. Simple calculation: 28 hours of useless flight time two ways for a "productive" 20 minute interview. That's like expecting me to have an efficiency of 1/84 (a little over 1%). Really? You expect us to use our time like that and somehow manage to research the cure for cancer/Parkinson's/the next big thingmajig? I expected better of you!!

Well, all of us do take time for granted. Going about with our business, praying for money/fame/love (which I still am), watching the seasons go by. Next thing you know....

Everyone's looking to the past, half of them's looking to the future, but no one's living in the now, and they're wasting my presents! C'mon, people! You Only Live Once:

Flying so often is scary.....

So, Imma hoard my time. Probably bury it underground if possible. If not, I'll spend it the best I can. I resolve not to waste the time of others too. Its not up to me what they would do with their 86,400 seconds a day, but it'll be evil to rob them of it.

Running thru time

Okay, I think that's 5 minutes of your time and an hour of mine wasted. Imma go and do something productive and prepare for college. It's starting soon, y'know. Cya!

P.S. Everyone knows that we have dastardly little time for doing the things we wanna do, but couldn't afford the time. So I officially announce the coming of....

work  in progress

For all your unfinished posts' needs!

work no longer in progress

Behind 2013... so far

2013.... What's new, eh? Only thing great about this year is that the world didn't end last year. Other than that, I guess everything is pretty normal.

Right about now I guess everyone in Malaysia is talking about the upcoming elections, probably in March/April. But why are they making such a big fuss over it? I mean, c'mon. The world's being slowly baked in an oven. UV radiation's hitting everyone because they can. Children are poofing everywhere. The dolphins are probably gonna poof themselves, along with some other fishes.

And everyone in the world is generally getting unhappy over the movement of pieces of paper, and over whomever who gets to control the movements of the pieces of paper. It's kinda funny since it's not the pieces of paper that are unhappy. 

Anyway, the big hoo-ha in Malaysia now is that PSY is coming to Malaysia. I can hear it now, people around the world saying either: "Okay, that's cool" or "Meh. So what?" But right now, right here, you won't believe the noise. Word on the street is that the current guv invited him over with a huge fee of RM 2 mil to perform his Gangnam Style. So skeptics all around me are saying: 

So, yeah. To properly understand why people are saying this, you would probably need to understand how "democracy" works, esp. in Malaysia. But I won't bother explaining it for two reasons.

1) It's too much to explain in a post, or even in 7 books/8 movies.

2) Its probably the same in any part of the world that practices democracy. (No offense, Middle East.)

And everyone else is just ranting around, and posting stuff on Facebook and Twitter and blogs, saying how bad this problem is gonna be and how it'll affect the country and how it shouldn't be and calling the guv unproductive and generally not doing anything productive.

Sometimes I just don't wanna live on this planet anymore and hitchhike a ride to outer space.

Hint hint: highly related to my next post ;)

But then I look around, and I realised something.

Life, in general, sucks.

(Death sucks too, so don't get the wrong idea.)

SO, I decided that I won't let life get the satisfaction of knocking me down, or so help me I'll go on a diet!

To tackle life, first I'm gonna tackle my own problems, like my interviews and applications woes. (Oh, the horror of pre-university work!!) And I've got my crush to worry about, but that's a post for another day. I WILL tackle my own problems myself, thank you very much. I know that ranting around, and posting stuff on Facebook and Twitter and blogs, saying how bad this problem is gonna be and how it'll affect the country and how it shouldn't be and calling the world unproductive and generally not doing anything productive won't solve anything, so I won't. I hope. I'm kinda unpredictable.

And then I'll face life.

But until then, Imma keep a song in my heart and just keep swimming. Because I'm bulletproof and I'll think to myself: What a wonderful world.

These songs are kinda sad, I think. So I'll put Gangnam Style on my heart's playlist, for kicks. What? That song is awesome!



Maybe all I need is a glass of soda and perspective and listen to what little pieces of paper are thinking about right now. I think I'll go and get one now. Cya later.