Behind Smoke and Mirrors.. again

I believe I have already made a post about this here but it's gotten so bad I have to make another post.

We're all koffing and weezing now :D

I guess there's no helping it. An annual occurrence, with the sky no longer blue and the tendrils of smoke wrapping around lungs, giving them a great big hug.

And M and I are still pointing fingers.

Only this year (at least in mainstream media), Singapore has joined the fray in the annual noise making ceremony. I guess it's because it's in the path of forest smog's migratory path. But then, they can't always blame the govt, because (refer previous post).

Who to believe, who to believe. Reminds me of elections for some reason.

And some still are quite sore about the last one in Malaysia, what with them showing up in an OPEN-AIR PROTEST in this haze.

I gotta respect them for their steadfast belief, I guess. That, my friend, is determination.

Just hope they have their face masks on.

And what am I doing? I'm just sitting right here, melancholying.

Gotta look at myself inna mirror, and ask myself, who can you trust? What do you believe in? Why is there not an eight color in the rainbow? What am I gonna do with my life?

Time to look for answers.
...once I manage to see past all this haze, that is.

Cya.

Behind the End... or a Beginning?

So I guess this is it.

The final paper (Physics, in case you wanna know) which signifies the end of A-Levels.

And then we move on.

Not that I'm saying I'm not happy or anything. I am glad, more like relieved, that exams are over, for now at least.

But it saddens me that I would have to leave a bunch of wild friends that I have spent my education life with.

Again.

I mean, I understand. You go through primary education, you make friends, you leave primary school and enter secondary school, you make new friends, and the process repeats itself for every stage of your life you go through.

And I know that there are many others out there who might be just as wild, or just as mad, or just as kind, or just as pretty, or just as able to make me fall in love.

Sigh.... I guess I'm just a sod who has grown too attached to his companions. Maybe I'm just overthinking stuff.

Right now, I'm packing, sorting, inventorying, and hopefully selling the notes which have pulled me through all the exams. They're not the best of notes, but they did the job they had to do.

And to me, each note is like a story, a window to the past memories I have had. All the rumours and misunderstandings and laughters and words not said.

But putting stuff away is important. Otherwise how would you find the space to store the future?

The future is a star in the sky, aye. And the past keeps you grounded, aye. But the ground is there so that you remember who you are/were, and so that if you jump for the stars and miss, at least you would only fall for a short distance before you pick yourself up from the ground and try jumping again.

Of course, I'm not asking you to stay on the ground and stare at the sky.

I'm saying that the thing and people in the past will pave your way to the future, and it's good to keep them in your heart, so that when you make it in life, you would know what is important.

Sorry, I'm just too emotional now. I'll try and come out with a more coherent post sometime this week.

I wonder how university life would be... Anything like Monsters U, I wonder?

Anyway, cya soon when I stop feeling down over all these shifts.

Behind A Temporary Peace

...and a new age is born for Malaysia. For the social-media enlightened ones, that is.

Sure, some of us are kinda disappointed that they didn't succeed to toppl..... have a change in administration. But we're getting there.

Personally, before all this I really couldn't care less about who is up there, sitting on the ruling seat. I know whoever is there is going to be a croo.... an unliked person anyway. Besides, what with my A-Levels exam going on right now, I didn't think I have the time to care.

Apathy is happiness.

And then a few days before the BIG DAY, I made the mistake of checking Facebook one too many times. You know how  Facebook is usually full of government/opposition propaganda (depending who your friends are)? Well, it's hard to describe the feeling, but it was kinda like I was sucked into that whirlpool of emotions. It's like a herd/horde thing. Everybody in the same space, chanting the same message over and over again.... It's like a crowd in a concert, or a legion of fans at a game. You WILL be swept away by the current, no matter how hard you try.

And so, it sucked me in, messed with my mind, got me riled up, heightened my hopes, enraged my hamster, caused much disappointment, and spit me back out.

OF COURSE IT HURTS. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

I knew I shouldn't have cared.

Yesyes, before you go on and lecture me about how this is our country and how we are supposed to play our part in shaping the future etc etc, take a moment to think about this.

What do you think I can actually do right now?

Games emulate life, but one thing they always get
wrong is that life is not linear, and decisions are
so much harder to make.

I'm just a Pokemon loving student of A-Levels. Not eligible to vote. Prefers neutrality above all. And worst of all, fickle.

...I think I'll just focus on my A-Levels for now.

Just finished one week of intense paper 6s. I don't think I can do much thinking for now.

Now, given this temporary peace of post elec... decision making and the respite between now and the paper 5s in three weeks time, I think I should reflect on what I truly believe in, and how much of what I believe in does not stem from what others believe in.

Belief is a very dangerous thing to have,

especially if it's not yours

But I believe that pure ranting will not do anything to solve the problem at all. I'm going to find something to do.

Cya later.

Behind The Post-Results Depression

So A-Level results are out.

Luckily for me, I guess I did pretty well, definitely qualifying for a spot in medicine in a UK university.

But the general atmosphere around college is that of doom and gloom. What with all the 4th papers being a troll and all, lowering everyone's mark well below the level they needed/expected. So now everyone's like"I'm gonna retake this paper", "I can't slack anymore", "I need to study now"....

And with the additional release of SPM and STPM results, even social media can't escape this darkness. Sure, with elections coming up everyone is bound to get a higher grade (politics. don't ask.), but still people complain. I guess good is never good enough for some people, or they might just be unlucky.

I'm fine with that, really, given my results (HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOx9999).

But seriously, this made me think of a few things. 3, actually.


Number one. For those who got shitty results (according to them), complaining about your results won't change anything. So you rant about your results-not-meeting-your-expectations, fishing for sympathic comments, and what do you get? More time wasted on the page you ranted on, while you could use the time to actually prepare better for the next paper. Seriously, guys. While you go on and on about how the marker's/teacher's a beyotch and demanding for a remark/resit, some are out there working hard to make sure they don't get as bad a result. If you want something good that bad, work for it with your hands, not with your mouth.



Number two. For those who got outstanding results (according to them), congratulations. You deserved it. But please, don't shove it into everyone's faces. We know you did better than others, so don't tell them that every day. Imagine what that does to their self-esteem! Granted, I maaaay have slipped into that stage once or twice, but I know it's not good, to me and to others. I'm still keeping tabs on myself. It's not nice to have your nose so high up in the air.









Number three. And this is directed to myself. WHAT IN SEVEN BELLS ARE YOU DOING BLOGGING AND 9GAGGING WHEN EXAMS ARE TWO MONTHS AWAY?!!!?!? Seriously, I've gotta stop doing that. Everyone around me is affected by the post-results depression and studying to dry up the midnight oil, aaaand I'm here. Someone stop me please.

Here's hoping that everyone (me inclusive) will step up their game (...okay, might be a wrong choice of wording...) and make this year's result way better than last year.

Hopefully, when I write next time, it'll be after exams, and I'm not depressed.

Cya.

Behind Being Hot & Cold

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! (SNAKE YEAR!!!)

Considering that it's currently Chinese New Year, you would expect me to be sweating right now, what with all the sunlight and all the firecrackers and "bai-nian"ing and mahjonging and stuff.

Well, no. In fact, quite the opposite. Why, just two days ago I was so cold, there was snow on my coat, which I wore outside my hoodie, which I wore outside my long sleeved T-shirt, which I wore outside my singlet.

That's right, folks. The Jian is NOT in Malaysia, and it's winter where he is.

And even through all these layers, the chill still manages to slip in and stab its cold blade between my ribs. BRRRR!

Why am I in cold cold London, you may ask, when my family is enjoying Chinese New Year festivities back home? (Which I must say gets quieter and quieter each year. Hey, even my cousin in London sez that!)

Two words:

UNIVERSITY INTERVIEWS

Yep. I'm spending my time here for the sake of my future. The things I do to get into med school...

Apparently the med schools I'm applying to do not conduct Skype interviews or have representatives in Malaysia, only personal, real, face-to-face interviews. So 14 hours of sitting in an airplane later, and after 20 minutes per interview, here I am, looking forward for another 14 hours of flight time.

Which is ridonkulous. Simple calculation: 28 hours of useless flight time two ways for a "productive" 20 minute interview. That's like expecting me to have an efficiency of 1/84 (a little over 1%). Really? You expect us to use our time like that and somehow manage to research the cure for cancer/Parkinson's/the next big thingmajig? I expected better of you!!

Well, all of us do take time for granted. Going about with our business, praying for money/fame/love (which I still am), watching the seasons go by. Next thing you know....

Everyone's looking to the past, half of them's looking to the future, but no one's living in the now, and they're wasting my presents! C'mon, people! You Only Live Once:

Flying so often is scary.....

So, Imma hoard my time. Probably bury it underground if possible. If not, I'll spend it the best I can. I resolve not to waste the time of others too. Its not up to me what they would do with their 86,400 seconds a day, but it'll be evil to rob them of it.

Running thru time

Okay, I think that's 5 minutes of your time and an hour of mine wasted. Imma go and do something productive and prepare for college. It's starting soon, y'know. Cya!

P.S. Everyone knows that we have dastardly little time for doing the things we wanna do, but couldn't afford the time. So I officially announce the coming of....

work  in progress

For all your unfinished posts' needs!

work no longer in progress

Behind 2013... so far

2013.... What's new, eh? Only thing great about this year is that the world didn't end last year. Other than that, I guess everything is pretty normal.

Right about now I guess everyone in Malaysia is talking about the upcoming elections, probably in March/April. But why are they making such a big fuss over it? I mean, c'mon. The world's being slowly baked in an oven. UV radiation's hitting everyone because they can. Children are poofing everywhere. The dolphins are probably gonna poof themselves, along with some other fishes.

And everyone in the world is generally getting unhappy over the movement of pieces of paper, and over whomever who gets to control the movements of the pieces of paper. It's kinda funny since it's not the pieces of paper that are unhappy. 

Anyway, the big hoo-ha in Malaysia now is that PSY is coming to Malaysia. I can hear it now, people around the world saying either: "Okay, that's cool" or "Meh. So what?" But right now, right here, you won't believe the noise. Word on the street is that the current guv invited him over with a huge fee of RM 2 mil to perform his Gangnam Style. So skeptics all around me are saying: 

So, yeah. To properly understand why people are saying this, you would probably need to understand how "democracy" works, esp. in Malaysia. But I won't bother explaining it for two reasons.

1) It's too much to explain in a post, or even in 7 books/8 movies.

2) Its probably the same in any part of the world that practices democracy. (No offense, Middle East.)

And everyone else is just ranting around, and posting stuff on Facebook and Twitter and blogs, saying how bad this problem is gonna be and how it'll affect the country and how it shouldn't be and calling the guv unproductive and generally not doing anything productive.

Sometimes I just don't wanna live on this planet anymore and hitchhike a ride to outer space.

Hint hint: highly related to my next post ;)

But then I look around, and I realised something.

Life, in general, sucks.

(Death sucks too, so don't get the wrong idea.)

SO, I decided that I won't let life get the satisfaction of knocking me down, or so help me I'll go on a diet!

To tackle life, first I'm gonna tackle my own problems, like my interviews and applications woes. (Oh, the horror of pre-university work!!) And I've got my crush to worry about, but that's a post for another day. I WILL tackle my own problems myself, thank you very much. I know that ranting around, and posting stuff on Facebook and Twitter and blogs, saying how bad this problem is gonna be and how it'll affect the country and how it shouldn't be and calling the world unproductive and generally not doing anything productive won't solve anything, so I won't. I hope. I'm kinda unpredictable.

And then I'll face life.

But until then, Imma keep a song in my heart and just keep swimming. Because I'm bulletproof and I'll think to myself: What a wonderful world.

These songs are kinda sad, I think. So I'll put Gangnam Style on my heart's playlist, for kicks. What? That song is awesome!



Maybe all I need is a glass of soda and perspective and listen to what little pieces of paper are thinking about right now. I think I'll go and get one now. Cya later.

Behind the Manglish Vocabulary

A list of wild Manglish words you may encounter while in Malaysia:

lah                   -  The act of finishing your sentence the Malaysian way.
tapau               -  To package up food for later consumption.
macha              -  Indian for 'brother', or 'bro'. Subtle meaning depends on tone.
dey                  -  Used to call out. Most commonly used with 'Macha'.
aiyoyo              -  To describe an indescribable disappointing event. Increase number
                           of 'yo's after word with increasing indescribable-ness.
abuden             -  You don't say?
itellyuah            -  I'm telling you.
uncle                -  Any male who is significantly older than you.
auntie               -  Female of Uncle.
bos                  -  To describe the driver/mamak/hawker/etc whom you are currently
                           in service to. May be used interchangably with 'Bang'.
nego                -  Negotiate.
gostan              -  Reverse vehicle.
lu                     -  You.
yumcha            -  To get a drink at a nearby kopitiam.
terror(tera)       -  Great, awesome, highly able.
giler                 -  Used as adverb to signify extreme. E.g. "Walau, expensive giler!"
walau               -  Sound made by Malaysians before a sentece to signify
                           astonishment. May be followed up with "A".
outstation         -  Out of town.
-wan                -  Used after a pronoun, e.g. mai-wan, your-wan. Signifies possession.
osoken             -  Can also be done.
watudu             -  What should be done?
shiok                -  Immense pleasure.
shiok-sendiri     -  To give immense pleasure to oneself, usually at own expense.
yalah                -  Yes.
nolah                -  Used sarcastically. In truth means yes.