Behind Choc Chip Cookies Musings

I have no idea what I should do now.

My was-summative, now-formative exam is over, I don't have patients to see, and I'm not in the mood to prepare notes for the exam in January.

So I baked a couple trays of chocolate chip cookies.

And everyone knows that baking is simply following the recipe and making sure the cookies to burn.

So as my hands work, my mind begins to wander backward through time, through the entirety of 2015. And I realise, my life might not be actually as boring as I've always liked to describe it.

I've traveled a bit, to Iceland, Sweden and Singapore. I've met new people, made good food, written a lot little. Moved house, bought a bike, paid bills (GAWD). I would like to say that there was no drama involving the heart involved, but that would be a lie.

And then I look at myself. Things have happened, but how much have I changed from all this? How much have I learnt, and improved myself as a person? I mean, right now, I look back, and I realise that there are things I did which I will never do now, and will probably regret to the end of my life. But the real question is, will I ever be smart enough to never repeat them ever again? The fact that I am hesitating right now while pondering the idea means that I'm probably still not really mature inside. I still have a lot to learn.

I should really talk to more patients while in hospitals. Technically, they are all senior to me in this course called life, and would definitely have some wisdom of life to impart. As medical professionals, we learn from the books and the research, but we stand to learn a lot more from our patients. This is the reason they deserve respect from patients, even as they look up, or down, upon the medical team.

Alright the batter is done. Time to shape them into little balls on this greased tray and chuck them into the oven for.... Half an hour? Keeping time isn't exactly one of my strong points. Anyway....

Slightly switching topic here, I wonder how much the world has changed. Honestly probably not much. Music is getting shittier, countries still cannot decide on a common stance on various issues (environment and war), important people are still corrupt. Rights are still misplaced, depending on who you ask. And the internet is still getting darker and darker.

I guess the only thing that has changed is my view of the world, and even then, not much. Not sure when it has started, but I seem to have always been cynical of the world. I've always been told that the people in power are abusing them. And then I realise that people who say that are often the ones not in power, and in a lot of hate. And then I realise that it happens on the government's side as well. And then I realise that everybody lies in politics. And that's when my hate for all politics and love for political jokes began.

But seriously, people are assholes, especially if they are fighting for something abstract, like a book or imaginary figures. Money and oil, I understand. Self-defense, I understand. But goddamn arbitary beliefs? Which may or may not be true? This is why I don't have beliefs.

Wait. No that's not what I meant. That came out wrong.

But the first batch of cookies came out alright. Time for the second batch.

Now I think that I've ranted enough for one day. I'm really not satisfied with myself. But I try my best.

I AM satisfied with these cookies tho. Mmmmmmmmm.

Want some? Cya at Christmas.

Behind the Dates We Remember

Remember, remember the 5th of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot;
There should be no reason why gunpowder and treason,
Should ever be forgot.

A wish was made on a birthday: July 8th,

Friends, food and fine dining;

Over the food he had no mood,

To face the prospect of dying.

Remember, remember the 11th of September,

Two planes, two towers and plot; 

There must be a war, at expense of the poor,

Every year no one forgot.

One month before: June 24th,

He was enlisted to risk his life;

He gave her a ring and bought her a ring,

He asked her to be his wife.

Remember, pray, the 13th of May,

Chinese, Malays and plot;

Remind them today in every possible way,

Lest bigots be forgot.

It finally ends: August the 10th,

He returns home from his deploy;

She didn't forget, she was in bed,

Celebrating their newborn baby boy.

The dates we remember are the ones that mean most,

To celebrate what is gained and mourn what is lost;

To replenish the dedication in our soul,

But for whose cause? I don't know.

They mark the divergence in our paths,

And we can but only look back and laugh

Or grief at things that made us who we are,

As long as we are not used.         Cya.

Behind A Wheely Bad Pun. Frame Me. I already Spoke of the Wheel.

Sorry about the lack of updates, it's just... I've been busy. Being around in hospitals really takes the inspiration out of you.

I just want rant about bike thievery. I understand that it is a thing that exists in London, and that there always were warnings and precautions heralded by the gov, the uni, the media.... about keeping your bike safe and secure. But well... to put it in haiku:

Listen all you like,

If advice is not heeded,

Bye-bye to your bike.

Yeah, I lost a bike. RIP bike. I don't have a name for you; I'm a shitty owner. But if I did I'll be even more upset to find out you were taken. To the bike thief: I don't know who you are, or what you want, but I do know this. I will find you, and....

Oh who am I kidding. Last year 381,000 bikes were stolen, and only a fraction of them retrieved. Chances are my old bike had already been sold off to some unsuspecting student needing a cheap second- (maybe even third- or fourth-, who knows?) hand bike. I even bought it second-hand; chances are it was already stolen.

But it is difficult to find a good bike. Even in games it costs 1,000,000 PokeDollars. This is why there is such a good market for used bikes. There is a demand, so there will be a supply. No exceptions.

I suppose I go on a tangent on how I'm supporting the market by buying potentially stolen bikes. But, if the alternative is spending 4 pounds everyday waiting on the tube, I'm willing to live with the consequences.

To illustrate, the second second-hand bike I bought the second after the week I lost my bike cost me 43 pounds. It means that after commuting with it for 11 days, the price already evens out. That sounds like a really good deal.

In the ideal society, we would live literally 5 minutes walk away from wherever we need to be. Alas, this is London. Hence, cars, trains and bikes were invented, and none of them cheaply. As a student, I am forced to take the cheapest, and least pollutant-producing, of the evils.

BUT NOTHING IS AS EVIL AS STEALING THE BICYCLE THAT BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!

Honestly it was locked to a pole and everything too.

I guess shit happens. Thus, new old bikes are bought. Out of necessity, and for the love of my wallet, whom from now one I shall name Hairpins. Because they turn up even if you don't try.

You know, just in case.

Cya on the roads!

Behind Thinking of Exams in the Holidays

the caffeine runs through 

my veins from my 

superior mesenteric vein to the portal vein to the hepatic system to my IVC to my right atrium

then 

to the right ventricle to my lungs back 

to the left atria 

to the left ventricle to the aorta to the carotids up 

to my Circle of Willis to the meningeal arteries pass the blood-brain barrier diffuse into my Neuronal cell bodies hyperstimulation electrical impulses shooting in all directions

by Kylie Ang, 2015

Just a peek into my medical year ahead, starting in 5 days.

I will leave this home in 3 days for another abode.

Finish packing and shopping in two days.

Finish writing in one day.

Less than one day to cite/steal/be inspired a poem.

Time actually flies, don't you think? And before I know it exams will be here again. Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo.............

Which is why 50% of my luggage would be powdered coffee.

Cya in the UK, and God bless the Queen. She's been there for a looooooooooooooong time.

Behind Unity and Hope

To all my fellow Malaysians,

Happy 58th Independence Day!

As a kid born in the nineties, I will admit that I do not know first hand the struggles of the people leading up to the liberation of the country from the British colonist. I also do not know the change in the life of an average person before and after Merdeka.

What I do know, however, is that every race banded together and promised the colonists everlasting muhibbah in order to win that independence. And the only way we can progress as a nation is using that same mindset.

I know some of us may think differently. Some may think that certain individuals are blocking the way ahead to a better future, and are better off off the office and the pages of history. Some may think that putting aside differences means yielding to those of other colours and beliefs, and will stop at nothing to stop it. Some believe that violence will lead to a better future, some are skeptical, some are dead against it. Some think it will be better as long as everything is unchanged.

I don't know who is right. But if anything really happens, I really do hope that everyone will be left.

Despite its flaws, I love this country. I love the people. I love the mixture of food of which may or may not lead to abdominal discomfort. I love sitting in air conditioning and complaining about the rain/sun. I love waking up to a cup of milo or teh tarik every morning.

I guess I just love my home, and I want only the best for it.

Only I can't see a way forward now that doesn't involve pissing off a substantial group of the population. If it was that easy, the country will be heaven.

But it's not, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I can only be thankful for what has been done for, to and by this country, and pray to any god you believe in for further peace and unity.

Only then will the path reveal itself.

Probably.

Cya in a colour-blind future!

Behind A Holiday Hazy Daze

3 more weeks before I return to London? OMFG. Where did all that time go?

But I do enjoy this life. Really I do. I feel... rested.

But at the same time, restless.

I HAVE TO DO SHIT. I DON'T CARE WHAT KIND OF SHIT, I NEED SOMETHING TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

Provided that it's not illegal or ill-advised or overly expensive, of course.

I don't know why I'm complaining so much. When term starts, I've plenty to do.

And yet....

I don't even know what I want now. And when I do, it's often 25 minutes too late.

This is when I slap myself in the face and scream internally:

You. Only. Live. Once.

Regretting stuff is not a very productive way to spend my life.

So I do shit. Cheap, legal, socially accepted shit.

Sigh.

You can tell from these bursts how restless I actually am.

ROTI CANAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiii....

I swear this haze is affecting my brain. How can I go for a run now....

I should gym more often. I mean, improving oneself is always good right?

What am I even writing.

I give up.

So, YOLO, wrote a rant.

Yeah,

Cya.

Behind A Teh Tarik Substitute

What is a latte?

According to Google:

But apparently you can substitute coffee with matcha green tea?

Part of a menu at Nana's Green Tea. Available in 1U. Wanna go grab a cuppa?

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I love matcha.

I only wish that such good stuff isn't that expensive.

And I also wish that bad stuff wouldn't be that expensive.

Like Starbucks for example. I know how many people complain that Starbucks sells overpriced coffee, and it's a common joke that you pay all that for 7 tablespoons of sugar anyway. I mean for 5 pounds I can buy enough coffee powder, milk and sugar to last me a month, and in a correct proportions as well.

But why, oh why, does it TASTE SO GOOD?

I swear, if Starbucks release a matcha flavoured drink for a limited time, I will go broke.

But anyway. I don't really care that much for any kind of drinks right now  All I want is an excuse to meet my friends. I have only 2 months here in Malaysia, I want to meet as many of my old friends as possible, over any kind of drink at any kind of table. As long as we can all talk shiz over a good cup of broth, I would be happy.

Of course, the sweeter the drink, the sweeter the conversation. Probably.

Anyway, drinks today are getting weird. But that's okay, because I'm getting weird too.

Let's all go out on a weird day together.

Cya over a drink.